Lead Your Own Way:
How women’s ways of leading change businesses
As I woman, do you crave to “do” leadership in your own way? Most of us do not want to emulate a more masculine way of leadership. We want to do it on our own terms, in a different style. Not necessarily a better style. We love action, we are all about getting shit done. We love dialogue and teamwork. We want people to work well together, and build powerful alliances and networks that generate better ideas, more curiosity, and better solutions. We have a different path to achieving goals sometimes. We can “look” softer in our approach, but we guarantee that at the end of the day, there is nothing we can’t do, can’t tackle, can’t handle, or sort through. We have innate relational capabilities. And as women leaders, we can do even more to develop these innate abilities into being our platform of power.
We are key to organizations, firms, and businesses building the kind of place where all people want to work, and want to stay. Why? Because some of the hierarchies and work structures of the past, the values that have driven businesses up to now, are not going to work in the decades to come. We need leaders who can embrace ALL aspects of what it means to lead. And not just the financial accomplishments, which are critically important, but all the other goals as well. I’m talking about being able to recruit the people a business wants and needs, and then having the kind of culture that keeps them around. Not just a butt in the seat employee, but one happily performing, giving their energy and ideas, and the very best of themselves to the business.
This requires leaders recognize and learn how to improve performance both their own as a leader and how to help others, building the next generation of leaders, giving skills training in more than just Excel or strategy, business development and process improvement. Going beyond these functional skills to teach someone else how to sit in a board meeting and actively engage in the conversation when they are getting hijacked by a careless comment. Knowing when to lean into an instinct, rather than run away and do what you always have done. It’s learning how to trust yourself, especially in situations where there is not a clear path forward. It’s also skills for interacting with people who are above and below you on the organizational chart. How to “lead up” and “lead down” so to speak. All of this starts with knowing yourself, your goals, intentions, your style, your tendencies, what motivates and demotivates you, your triggers, your level of compassion or empathy for others, and it’s also knowing WHAT GETS IN YOUR WAY of getting to the next place.
Let me give you an example. I have a brilliant colleague who started a new business last year. She is paving new ground, blazing new trails in an industry that has been very slow to change. She is extremely gifted, experienced, and has more energy than a pre-school classroom of kids on Redbull. Despite her accomplishments, she second guesses herself at nearly every turn. She ruminates on past decisions, wondering if they were the correct ones. She over-prepares for meetings and events thinking it’s not good enough yet. You might be thinking she has perfectionistic tendencies, and there could be something to that. But in my experience working with women leaders, they ALL think and act like this. Can it be true that every woman leader is a perfectionist? I don’t buy that.
I think women need permission to be a different kind of leader. And for that leadership to look, feel, and be different than a man might lead. I’m casting wide distinctions here, recognizing that some women lead more like a man would lead, and some men’s styles are more similar to how women like to lead. Having said that, there are still plenty of women who think that a male leadership style is what they should be learning and adopting. I disagree wholeheartedly. I think women should lead in their own way. And this is still a rigorous kind of leadership, in case you were thinking otherwise. It’s just done in a different way.
Here are a couple ways to get started on your journey to Lead Your Own Way.
- Understand first of all how you are leading. What are your leadership values? What are you doing every day, how do you measure leadership success? Start with an honest self-assessment. Are you following your own values, or emulating someone else’s values?
- What do you aspire to be? What kind of leader do you want to be? Exercise: Sit in a quiet place. Close your eyes and imagine having a conversation with a very wise person. Ask this person a question and wait for the answer. Then ask another question, and wait for the response. Then ask your wise person if they would like to ask you a question. Wait to hear their question. As you end this exercise, give a thanks. This wise person you just interacted with by the way…is you. This is the seat of your passion, and your own innate wisdom. Do this exercise every day and watch how your attention shifts from “out there” to “within.” What difference does that make in your leadership? In your confidence? In your sense of joy and satisfaction? How does this way of leading impact others?
There are more steps you can take, more paths you may walk, and many more exercises that can help you on your journey to Leading Your Own Way. If you are interested in working with a coach, I would love to talk with you about what you are up to. My website is: Www.ravenwork.com
“Like all explorers, we are drawn to discover what’s out there without knowing yet if we have the courage to face it.”
- Pema Chödrön.
