How to Stop the Bounce Between Anxiety and Boredom
DO ONE THING- EVERY DAY
Many of us find ourselves between these two primary emotions. We are either anxious, even overly so, or we are bored. Our boredom could be with our routine, watching too much Netflix or eating the same foods over and again because we weren’t that great in the kitchen before the pandemic, and let’s face it, we didn’t get THAT much better in the past few weeks. We always meant to watch that “how to cook” online course, but for some reason never did.
Our anxiety can mount with too much news on television or streaming. Even picking up the daily headlines thrown to us like grenades can make a dent in our emotional state. We are hard wired, biologically, to notice and respond to danger. And there is danger all around us right now. Our neurobiology is on massive overload.
So if you are finding yourself swinging between anxiety and boredom, that is actually a natural response to a lot of external (and internal) stress.
But does it have to be that way?
No. We can change our responses, but only when we do ONE THING. We must first become aware of ourselves: what we are thinking, and how we are feeling.
I am a fan of meditation. This simple act, although it can be harder to do than it looks, is the best way to tune in and figure out what is going on with you. I heard an interview with George Mumford, former meditation coach to the Chicago Bulls and now with the LA Lakers, say that meditation is just about just letting your mind BE. You are not trying to “turn your mind off” as many people think you have to do in meditation. You are simply creating space to let your mind BE. George says that mediation is not about going anywhere or doing anything, it’s just seeing what is there and letting it speak to you.
Meditation is not about stopping thinking.
It is being present to WHAT IS.
Do you have negative self-talk, or thoughts that are just negative?
Can you create space where you are observing the thoughts, letting them speak to you, without identifying with them?
I love this simple sentence. Can I observe my thoughts, even the negative ones, let them speak to me, without identifying with them? In other words, if my words have the power to influence my behavior, then how I am monitoring the words so that I don’t get the wrong results?
For example, if my inner self-talk says “you can’t do that, you could never be that successful” and I am only somewhat aware that I am talking to myself in that way, how will having those thoughts drive my behaviors during the day? What happens when I take a chance, try to do something slightly outside my comfort zone? The thought “You can’t do that” might show up. It’s very likely to show up. And what do I do then? Do I push it aside and tell it that its wrong (could produce that anxiety feeling), or do I give in and say “yeah, you’re probably right, I can’t do this” which leads to apathy and yep, boredom.
So this is an example of how NOT paying attention to what is happening inside can cause us to BOUNCE between anxiety and boredom. And most of the time, if we are not engaging in some kind of meditation practice (paying attention) this will keep happening in a loop, much like a TV theme song playing over and over in our heads.
What’s the solution?
Sit. Pause. Tune in to your head and body. Listen to what is happening inside you. Feel what is going on, whatever emotion rises to the surface. You don’t have to sit for hours a day. This also does not have to be about a spiritual awakening, although it could be if that is what you seek. I like to think of meditation as part of my daily self-care routine. I brush my teeth, I shower, I eat, and oh yeah, I check in with myself to see what thoughts are happening up there, and how am I feeling? I sit with both, with the goal, as George teaches, to notice, not to control. When I first started a meditation practice I was determined to “control” my thoughts. That last for about a hot second until I realized it was impossible to force myself to control what was just “popping” into my head.
The more I practiced, the more I studied mindfulness meditation, and other forms of meditation, the more I realized that the all there is to do here is to notice, observe, not get caught up in the thought or underlying emotion, and definitely not to try to control anything.
At a time in our history when it seems like control is everywhere, both negative and positive forms of it, it can be hard to think we need to give up control with ourselves. I’m not talking about “letting yourself go” or doing or saying whatever you want. This is about BEING WITH what is. Noticing it, and letting it tell us what it wants us to know.
Want to stop the bounce between anxiety and boredom? TUNE IN.
