Why Introverts are Not Suffering.
Finally, we can stay home.
I was talking with a good friend yesterday who said her husband was not suffering at all during this period of physical distancing. In fact, she said he told her that he wished this would never end. She, on the other hand, is struggling to get everything done including taking care of children and meeting what has become an INCREASE in her workload. Plus, she is missing social outings including dinner with friends, and shopping for anything beyond food.
Many people are doing just fine emotionally and mentally during this pandemic. While others are climbing the wall. Are we divided by that one trait on the Myers-Brigg’s Type Indicator (MBTI) called Introversion and Extroversion?
I have a theory that those who are introverted are faring better than those who score as an extrovert on the MBTI. I identify as an Ambivert which means my score is dead center between these two types. If I had to pick one I default to when I am tired and need to re-energize, then I would have to say I am slightly more introverted than extroverted.
What’s the difference?
A very simplistic way to tell if you are more of an introvert than an extrovert is asking yourself a simple question. When you are tired and need to re-charge your batteries, do you get more energy by being alone (or with the small unit of people you are closest to), or do you need to go to an event, a party, or a gathering of people? If you need alone time to recharge then you are an introvert most likely. If you get energy from being around other people and feel your energy stores increase, then you are an extrovert. This is a continuum so there are “high” introverts and “low” introverts. The same is true for extroverts being on the high or low side. The ambivert by comparison sits in the middle of this continuum. You can go to the article “Are YOU an Ambivert?” where I wrote more about this type.
My friend’s husband is clearly an introvert, and likely pretty high on the introverted continuum. He is happy and content to be at home. In fact, the pressure is off because he doesn’t have to devise cleaver ways to refuse invitations to “come out” for dinner, a party, a book reading, wine tasting, fundraiser, or birthday party for a friend of a friend. He is off the hook. And he feels the power of suddenly living in a world where HIS preferred way of being is king.
You see nearly three-quarters of people in the U.S. are somewhere on the extroversion scale. That means our social world is largely constructed by extroverts. For anyone high on the introversion scale this can be uncomfortable, if not downright painful. In a normal functioning climate, the introvert has to decide how much social activity they have the “energy” for and budget themselves accordingly. Since the introvert does NOT get energy from social gatherings, they can’t “afford” to attend very many events without completely draining themselves. And a drained introvert is not a pleasant sight. Picture a two year old without a nap.
As an Ambivert, I have always been aware of how much energy I have and even measure and monitor my energy through a method I created a few years ago that I call my “MENTAL MET.” A Mental MET is basically a way to measure my mental exertion level like you would a physical exertion. A MET is a unit of measurement of exertion used to determine how much effort a physical activity is. A typical scale can be zero to 20 with zero being no exertion (like sitting on the couch watching TV), and activities like shoveling snow or running at a 6 mile an hour pace scoring at the high end depending on your level of fitness.
I have been giving myself a score every day for several years, and use this data to help me manage my schedule. If I have too many “high MET” days in a row, and feel very drained of energy, then I look at what was on my calendar and decide what needs to change. For instance, I know I cannot have more than 3 days in a row with a “Mental MET” level above 12. That is the path to burnout if I’m not careful. So I keep a tight watch on my calendar to make sure I have low “mental MET” days planned in between ones I assume with be high.
Like my friend’s husband, I am not suffering very much right now. I know for my extroverted friends that may sound like bragging but it’s not intended to. It’s just that most of the time, introverts are usually the ones having to invent scheduling games like my mental MET game in order to survive all the activities that are typically planned, and thoroughly enjoyed, by extroverts. As an ambivert, I do appreciate my extroverted friends because without them we would all be sitting at home reading all the time. But this time of physical distancing has, in some ways, been a real gift to a segment of the population who feel like, for once, we can stay home without feeling guilty.
I would love to hear from all of you introverts. Are you feeling relieved at this time? If yes, could you share your story? Just reply to this post so we can test my theory.
